"Sometimes, under circumstances like this, it's better to put yourself first if you're one of those people who considers other people's feelings before yours, no matter how selfish it feels. Cos no matter how hard you try to be pleasing, considerable, and calming towards other people in tough situations, sometimes; it just ends up in a disaster. So you're considered an asshole for not trying, and a waste of space for trying; what the fuck do you do then?
Sometimes, it's better to show them how you're feeling, rather than telling them; cos actions do speak louder than words, after all. Because then, the ones who can see it through your eyes are the ones who are true enough to be there for you.
As hypocritical of me as it sounds, sometimes, it's better to fight for youself, even if it's against those you truly care about without even knowing if they even feel the same way. And I guess I had to learn it the hard way. Forever is overrated and evidently, some of these people are only powerful when your back is turned.
As harsh as it sounds, you're all alone in this world. And I guess at some point, you gotta learn to adapt to that."