Although it's my birthday tomorrow, I'm not enthused about it at all. So much things are happening around me, and it's leaving me thinking too much. And worry. But anyway, other shits don't really matter right now. But what really, really matters to me right now, is my brother. He's changing into a completely different person, and it's worrying the shit out of me. How could he talk about doing anonymous so comfortably to his friends when I'm just right there! On the way home from school today, where two of his friends were in the car also along with my cousin, they were talking about doing anonymous after dropping me and my cousin off. First I thought they weren't being serious, but it wasn't until after my cousin was out the car, one of his friends took it out of his pocket. I was like what the fuck.. Are you blind? there's a young girl in the car, assholes. But what really pissed me off so much that my cheeks were boiling red and I felt like crying, was that my brother didn't even give a shit that I was hearing all this. I smacked him on the head from behind, telling him to please don't do it. But it was pointless. I am the youngest in the family after all, and not like he'd listen to me. Do you not know how much I really care for you? You think I don't, do you? I feel that your life is going to fuck up, and I'm sitting here wondering what I should do to stop you before it does. Yeah, I know. I'm still young to understand all this. But what you're doing is so not you. It's fucking stupid, and really wrong. I want you to think about mum and dad especially. About what it would do to them... Gosh, I fucking hate you.
Argh, I'm crying as I'm writing all this. I feel like canceling my party tomorrow. But I won't.
/sigh, another distraction to help me get my mind off things again.